By Dr. Ruth Achu
Marriage is part of God's divine plan. The family system is a sacred institution created for God's purpose (Genesis 2:22 and Isaiah 49:15). As such, couples should focus on the higher purpose of the plan of God because their choices will always have a divine perspective. Why do we have a high rate of Divorce in Christian marriages? By Law and by nature, your spouse automatically becomes your next of Kin even though there is no connection by blood. Why is a marriage union so strong that it overturns the right of primary parents as next of Kin? This reflection opened up the Mystery of Marriage to me and how sacred and profound it is, yet, today, many think of the idea of Marriage, love it, and then propose without reflecting on the Mystery. God, in his sovereign wisdom, demonstrates that every child should honor their parents to make up for the mysterious shift and to provide a platform for parents still to enjoy the gift of children from the lord. (Ephesians 6:2 "Honor thy mother and father, which is the first commandment with a reward) Our Christian values should govern our Marriage. Even though our understanding of Christian Marriage is to glorify God and advance His Kingdom, living it out in practical terms is another reality. Becoming a follower of Jesus has implications for your Marriage because it involves taking up our cross, denying ourselves to follow him daily.
God's intention is for Marriage to be permanent. It explains the Mystery of becoming one flesh, which is a serious one because, if you are one flesh and no longer separate individuals, breaking apart means dismembering the body. Today, so many Christian marriages are suffering and under attack from the devil, causing couples to give up too soon. If a Marriage is not intended for separation, under what circumstances may divorce be biblically legitimate? Because we live in a broken world, Divorce may not be celebrated but may be permissible! God may allow Divorce under certain circumstances, but this does not mean that His original plan for Marriage should be violated or taken for granted.
God institutes Marriage to demonstrate the love relationship between Christ and the church. Therefore our Christian values should govern our Marriage. If you think about it in this context, you can understand the intention of God for Marriage to last forever. It shows the mystical union between Christ and the church so that people can relate to Ephesians 5:31 "A man shall leave his mother and father and join his wife, and these two shall be one flesh") also (Ephesians 5:21 teaches the need for submission "Submitting yourselves to one another in the faith of God").
The word of God powered the developmental Process of my Marriage and significantly contributed to the foundation of my family's growth and stability. Allowing the Bible to transform us will enable us to nest a godly marriage. In many divorce cases, adultery seems to be on the top list of offenses. The divorce cases, according to the mosaic Law in the Old Testament in Deut 24," was based on indecent behavior from the wife or shameful behavior. However, the Pharisees wanted to know the opinion of Jesus in Matt 19:3. The Bible's provision to allow for Divorce was because of the hardness of their hearts Matt 19:7. There was adultery, that was punishable by death for both the husband and wife and not a matter of Divorce. Jesus makes it clear that Divorce is not legitimate but only allowed because of the hardness of their heart. If there is abuse in the Marriage, it means that the exposure to abuse might be grievous, and therefore we can advocate for the separation of the couple immediately. If the abuser does not want to change their behavior, then a divorce case may narrowly be allowed to save the victim's life. Similarly, Jesus healed on the sabbath because he advocates that it is good to save lives on sabbaths even if it is unlawful to heal on a sabbath day. Again, saving lives was the goal, and that overruled the Law.
Many factors will affect you because you are handing the throne of your life over to your spouse.
Your spouse just became top in your interest! In a good marriage, you are to care what the other person thinks, feels, and does, which is problematic.
The desire to please others is high. How each person deals with others in their lives plays a huge role!
Your friends were there before you came into the Marriage and to edit and delete the ones who will not go with you in your marriage journey is a huge issue to handle.
The people you are closest to are usually family and friends! Controlling family members who are only happy with you when you make decisions that suit them may want to keep their status. However, they get angry once you decide against their wish because they are only there to get something from you.
Beyond knowing and understanding yourselves as a couple, All the factors above are very subtle. They could creep into the Marriage without your knowledge and create unnecessary fights, which might eventually lead to Divorce. The Bible is such a fantastic guidebook because it gives a clear structure of all the expectations in a marriage. This basic understanding is vital for any Christian couple to thrive. I understood that Marriage would make two distinct people engage in reinventing themselves, get equipped, harness their strengths as individuals, and learn the need for balance in the interaction between husband, wife, and children to integrate a more profound family culture.
Any person intending to marry must have a good understanding of what they are getting into in Marriage. Those who have decided to walk the mystery path of Marriage must realize that in every line of the oath you make to each other, you must mean it. "Till death do us part" is a catastrophic confession; you acknowledge that "I am not going to separate with you no matter what comes our way. "in sickness and in health" is not a circus play statement; you must mean it "in poverty and in wealth" that is a mouth full. They are realities you have to stay married to unpack. I understand no one is perfect, and neither am I. As humans, we will make mistakes. God has made a provision of forgiveness to work things out, and Divorce is not an option unless there is adultery. However, the allowance of Divorce does not mean there is no grace to forgive. The parties involved are free to choose.
Therefore to say your oath before God almighty, the creator of Marriage, and in front of a whole bunch of people means you have to be intentional about what you are saying when you make that vow. If your partner starts to manifest some weird behavior, you cannot just decide you are leaving because you all have your flaws. You may have to bring it up in time to a Christian Counselor before you become overwhelmed and start contemplating Divorce. Divorce is a painful road to walk through and more painful for your innocent children. The data shows that stepparents are not as good as biological parents. People are looking for "Mr. or Mrs. perfect," but the reality is that you need to be prepared to straighten your issues out or suffer through outcomes you never envisioned. Without the shackles, you will never grow as a person, so bowing to the Mystery in Marriage is a good adventure and a platform to discover yourself and get the bonus opportunity to address things in your life.